Nine days in the hospital (even if you aren’t the patient) takes a toll on one’s psyche and body. I lost 20 lbs. I was exhausted.
All that, and I didn’t have several surgical procedures and a human being taken out of my body by main force.
I gained a new level of respect and admiration for womankind during those 9 days.
Robin never complained (to any of the staff, mind you) She was a rock.
We got home in the early afternoon. Thanks to Jay and Veronica’s shower gift, I had paid for a cleaning service to do a deep clean while we were at the hospital. The house was super clean, smelled great, and never felt more comfortable than that day. Walking into the house with a baby carrier was…well…not nearly as strange as I thought it would be. We were ready to be home. Ready to care for this little lady.
Every two to three hours, I was giving Caroline a 2 oz bottle of formula and anything Robin was pumping. Robin was dedicated to trying to make it work. She pumped at each feeding with little results. This went on for a couple of days before we talked to Dr. Blanchard and to the lactation consultants. It appeared that the D&C completely threw off her milk production. I didn’t care how the baby got fed as long as she was eating, so I stood back and let Robin make her own choice. The medical folks only cared about the well being of Caroline and Robin. With all of that support, Robin decided to stop pumping. Caroline was getting a bottle from now on. I guess i’m on the hook for those 2am feedings after all!
I was on leave until the beginning of May. Like I said in an earlier post, I wanna be a stay at home dad; but having all of that time to bond and help out was just perfect. In the first two days home, we were peed on and puked on and pooped on. We found out that the 2am feeding was the worst. We learned that Caroline needed Gentle formula. We found the diapers we (and she) liked.
We survived our first trip to the Doctors, to Nonnies, to Target. She and I survived our first day alone together. The past two months have been amazing.
So, that’s “Our Road.” When I start to look back, it feels like much more time has passed. Now I’m trying to slow down and enjoy all of the ways that this kiddo makes me feel.
Everyone told me that becoming a father changes you. It’s remarkably true. You change in some very subtle ways and in big ways. It’s very difficult to explain. I’m hoping that this blog helps explaining it better.
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