Back to Quincy to meet with our Doctor and discuss our options. Downtrodden as we were, we knew that our health insurance would allow us to do “SIX cycles per live birth.” It was just a matter of Robin being prepared for another round of injections.
Our Doctor made some tweaks to the protocol and we decided to give it another go.
Similar procedure as last time. The Autumn was kicking into full force and we realized that our Pregnancy test this time would fall on Black Friday (The Day after Thanksgiving).
We rolled into Waltham at 7:30am. We stopped for Breakfast on the way home. The last time we did this, they called Robin in the afternoon, right around 3:00pm. We planned our day to be home together for the call. It being the biggest shopping day of the year, Target seemed like as good a place as any to look at baby stuff and get wistful…
We were on route 18 in Whitman at about 10:30am when Robin’s cell phone rang. It was BostonIVF.
This time, it’s Positive. She’s Pregnant.
I started shaking and had to pull over. I don’t remember driving to Target. I don’t remember ever touching the ground for the rest of the day.
So we schedule appointments and start the countdown. Baby will be born in the Summer (right around July) so my work schedule, and the house has to be ready, and blah blah blah…
We tell VERY few folks and plan on telling our parents at Christmas. That would be 8 weeks and a lot of folks tell their family at that point.
Christmas Day we told them. It was magical.
Boston IVF holds onto us until after the magical 12th week of pregnancy so all of the Ultrasounds are done in Quincy. At only a few weeks we saw a little tiny heartbeat.
I left work in Mid-January and met Robin at the office for our 10 week visit.
“I can’t see the heartbeat…” The ultrasound tech said somberly. “I’m so very, very sorry…”
Let me tell you what that feels like…
Have you ever been hit in the stomach? Hard?
How about tackled in a football game? Those words hit me full in the body like a car made of Nerf. It was a physical blow that came with nausea and a pounding in my temples that I had never experienced. I was numb.
The tech left the room. We held each other’s hands and cried for a bit. I reassured my amazing wife that I loved her and that we were OK. The (Simply wonderful) Doctor came in and sat with us for a while. We talked about what to do now and when we needed to be back. I contacted work and told my boss what had happened. We drove home in separate cars. I took the rest of the week off.